By Kumar Dushyant
Every once in a while, comes a movie that makes you feel privileged for being able to watch it. The characters and the dialogue stay with you till the very next day and its impact lasts a lifetime.
Swiss Army Man is not one of those movies.
With an impressive IMDB rating of 7.5 and Metascore of 65, you hope it holds your interest throughout even if it doesn’t sufficiently titillate you.
Our experience: Bitter batter
The entire premise is very experimental, for lack of a better word. And for lack of a better script, they’ve inflated it with flatulence. Literally. My brave attempt at analysing the number of such exercises in fermented offal discharge shown in the movie resulted in a count of 30 to 40 episodes. This includes the pivotal rectal fibrillations at the end of the film. The dialogue is often drenched in the puerile, with the occasional physical display of disgust.
Daniel being Daniel:
You feel cheated throughout the movie as the frame is peppered with stunning landscape shots slipped into the film with choppy dialogue and an unseasoned script.
Case in point: Having the very deceased and putrefying Mr. Radcliffe aka Manny regurgitate several ounces of what appeared like fresh water out of the innards. Paul Dano (Hank) proceeds to fill his cup to quench his thirst.
The only fleeting glimpses of substance/promise this movie has to offer is the opening scene where Paul Dano’s character is about to hang himself. But soon enough, you’ll find yourself looking for the rope to terminate the horror and after taste of the unpleasant assault your senses have endured.
Surely, prolonged scenes depicting a corpse developing a rather sensitive and massive erection have not deterred the fans of this movie. It didn’t stop the film from being awarded the Best Director award at Sundance Film Festival despite it being reported that people walked out of the theatres!
While we would like to apologise to anyone who has already seen the film on behalf of cinema, we are sorry to report that the Swiss Army Man team shamelessly encourages you wasting your time. The actors claim to have somehow rattled the magical realm of cinema that the haters are clueless about.
Highlight for Potter fans: Daniel Radcliffe still being able to move at superhuman velocities. The subtle difference: Potter’s broom is replaced with Manny’s superhuman rear skills.
Verdict: It might have scored high on the Rectal scale, but Swiss Army Man is quite simply, utter garbage.
OK meter: 1